Tuesday, July 19, 2016

On Friendship: A Biopolitical Diary Entry

Week three in Toronto, and I’ve had the pleasure of reuniting with some of my favorite people. As one with an overactive mind does, I've thought a lot about friendship since I got here.

I hope everyone has those kind of friends who you put an ocean or a half of a decade between, and when you’re back together, it’s like you were never apart, even if you’ve both changed significantly.

I’m privileged to have pockets of these humans clustered in Toronto and Ottawa, and a few spattered across New Brunswick. I realized what keeps me close to these friends isn’t the interests we have in common at all. Some of us never shared much more than a common space, but from meager commonalities grew beautiful meaningful relationships.

What keeps me close to these people is the direction we’re moving: forward. We don’t have anywhere close to the same goals, but we have goals, and they matter to us. For me that’s radical authenticity and making my best most honest crack at the kind fame that can be wielded to for good. For a few of friends it’s making sure their kids have a better world to grow up in than they did. Seeing the world, changing the world, career success; none of these dreams necessarily overlap, and that’s really cool.

Some friendships are held together with nostalgia. The old buddies who get together to relive the glory of days past. Maybe it’s a sweet escape from a life they didn’t plan, or a genuine and peaceful resignation that their best days are behind them. These are not the friends I have.

Some friendships are sewn from stasis, making the best of the here and now, supporting each other through shared struggle and social context. For me, these are the friends who’ve fallen away. My ambition and dissatisfaction with world make these people hard to hold close.

I don’t have the patience to accompany aimless people through their lives. Talent does not stand still.

I don’t need to name the people who inspire me to write a post like this. They’ll read it, and know I tipped my hat to them. Regardless of whether this post was about you or not, dream big and try hard. Failure is much less tragic than you imagine.

Onward.

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